Who I have become.

I am not too sure how things would have gone if I did not go through all that I have. I am a 36 year old mother and wife. My family loves me and depends on me very much. They are my joy. They are my sunshine. I smile every time I think of them. They make mistakes, but, so do I .
 My family that I have created is very close and loving. Much different than how I grew up.
A therapist explained to me when I was 17 that he had no idea how I could be so strong. That what I have lived through is comparable to being in combat.
I have an anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, agoraphobia, fibromyalgia, Meiniere's Disease, PCOS and who knows what else...the list keeps growing. I know at least the mental conditions have been worsened if not caused by my early life. Some is genetic, but, not all.
You read my story and forget it and it was just a sad story. I live it. I live it every day.My mom would always tell me to quit dwelling on the past.
And, it wasn't just the stuff from the past. Crazy things were a constant. You were always walking on eggshells waiting for the next eruption.
I try to move on. But, memories come back in weird flashes. Even today. I hold my kids close. They are so precious to me.
I try to create a perfect happy home. We are far from perfect, but, we are happy. Trying to recreate the way I believe my childhood should have been.
Taking the good influences I had along the way and implementing what I learned.